tips for finding the center you deserve

How to find a good center for your kid.

            Picking out a center can be the most stressful, depressing and heart wrenching time in a young family’s life. Deciding to place your child in someone else’s care can be terrifying- and it should be… Yet, have no fear. You’re not alone and there are many great places with fabulous staff ready and willing to help your little human grow up to be a great big human. Here’s a few things to look for

1. Visit- Visit as many places as possible. Look for different styles of teaching like Harbor, High/ scope (my personal favorite), Montessori or Waldorf. Take your kids or not. If you really like a center- try a drop in for a day or just a couple hours. See how it works for you and your family before you start giving them money. Don't let them pressure you into enrolling before your child has a chance to visit. Beware the Internet Scam. A center may look great online. Pictures and words mean nothing if the center doesn't live up to it's online persona. It's like online dating- you can put up whatever pictures and text you want- but the proof is in the daily look and operation of a good center.
2. Space- Your child needs space to play and stretch inside. Look for a classroom that has room to lay out blocks and toys, area for indoor games, tables for eating and crafts. Overcrowded rooms, stuffed full of toys are not easy to play in and often are not well cleaned/ maintained by staff. Also beware the empty classroom- the classroom with nothing available to the children to play with. If all the toys are out of reach and must be accessed by a teacher- the room is NOT child centered, but adult centered and hopefully not the center for you.
3. Organization- Poorly organized/ messy rooms are not a sign of a busy teacher- it’s a sign of a careless teacher who don’t know how to delegate jobs. Though some supplies are not always available to kids; like scissors, glue and other art supplies most items should be within the kids reach. Look for rooms that have appointed spaces for play. ie; dress up area, building area, library, writing and drawing area etc… The children should know what toys are available, where it belongs when they're done and be able to reach them easily. The teacher should have their own area for resources, personal items, daily supplies.
4. Playground- It IS ALL about safety. Go to their play area- look around- play- climb. If you have an older child, ensure that the equipment is heavy duty enough to hold your weight. The play structures should be sturdy, well built and in good repair. Look for cracked or broken items and toys. Any broken toys should have been thrown out. Make sure that there is room for running around and chasing without the worry of running into structures or other people. Play structures should be age appropriate; infant swings and small, short slides downsized for little bodies/ large slides, tire swings etc for bigger bodies. The result of a small child playing on equipment that is too large can be Deadly.

Have no fear. There will be more. Remember- They can smell your fear...

wow. really?

I'm constantly surprised at how much I learn from kids. Not only how to look at things in a different light- but to believe in what your light is showing you.
I watch the kids play and wonder how much of their made up world seems real to them. Do the blocks really become a castle? Does coloring flames on the side of your airplane really make it go faster? Do the dolls really cry? How bad does the plastic good taste? They truly believe in what they play.
Seeing the devastated look on a child's face when it's time to go home or clean up the kingdom they've created makes me laugh and cry with jealousy. How often have I gone to bed day dreaming- and why don't I day dream more often. As a child, my grades used to fall because of my daydreaming. Now the grown up in me is missing the kid in me.
I love watching them- the looks of mystic play, the sounds of half heard conversations as I walk around, the squeals and shouts of confrontation either real or imagined.
Being with them is like watching a movie; there's a certain amount of suspension of disbelief when I see them. I know there is nothing in that plastic play cup- but they believe it's full. And when they come up to me with a plate full of "food" and offer it; I become the happy restaurant customer who eats it all; or the picky customer who wants only green food on a purple plate. Even when were outside and they fill a cup full of dirt or snow (depending on the weather)- that dirt becomes chocolate milk, the snow- whipped cream on a sundae. I eat it happily.
There's something to be said about make believe- mostly; just believe.

Lesson #005
Don't always believe what you see... and definitely don't eat it.

Special seems to be the hardest word.

There are some things a teacher hates to deal with; miss planning, forgetting items, bad weather, gossipy teachers. Yet the worst is giving parents the bad news. The news that their child is showing signs of mental or physical disability.
As a parent we all want to believe that the gift we've been given is going to come out perfect and round and with a little help from us- they'll be ready to face the world and change history.
Some of us got pregnant quickly/ surprisingly (pick whichever works for you) and some of us had to wait years and bank accounts to get the prize at the bottom of the crackerjack box. However long the wait; the babies are all here.. whatever way they got here- they're here.
For teachers involved with early learning- detection is what we do all the time. Listening to their words- how they form sentences and how the words sound. How quick are they to fly off the handle or become louder and more excited? Given the problem- how easily can they solve it.. or do they solve it at all?
There is nothing more heart breaking than bringing up the painful subject of testing for a diagnosis. So many parents become angry and offended that we'd even think that they're precious child is ANY thing but perfect. Yet when the youngster is nowhere near the milestones they should be achieving- there are some things you just can't ignore. We as teachers don't come to this conclusion easily or with joy. None of us like to see that a child is stumbling- none of us want to be the one who points out what may be obvious.
However- I take pride in knowing that I've suggested testing; that I went to the mat for some kid; that I saw signs and acted on them. Don't get me wrong, the parents are offended and angry- furious that the "day care teacher" thought there was something wrong with little Jr. Yet, with the issues and incidents documented and the back up of my boss- parents eventually see that I went out on the limb to discuss it with them. None of those angry parents were angry for long- the results were accepted with love and ambition; courage and hope.
I see some of those kids from time to time; when I'm out with my family. I'll see one of those few kids for whom I had to speak up louder than normal to help. You can see the tired, hopeful look of a parent dealing with more stress than they accept in reality. And the courageous, hopeful look of a child who knows more than they can express.
I find myself coming through the door at work with a sense of renew. I think of each of the children I work with as my own. Those are "My kids". Many teachers I know feel the same way. These are "our kids". We want the best for them- why else would we be teaching them. We have a love and ambition, a courage and hope for them. For each of them. For all of them.

Lesson #003
be fearless in protecting their future.

the 17 year old weight off my shoulders

She is gone.

The young woman who "worked" with me has decided to look for more hours somewhere else, where she can work one on one with kids. Meaning; she's tired of me telling her to get up and interact with the children- just being a body in the room is not working.


Sadly though, the older girls seemed to love hanging out with her; playing cards and talking. So much that they would ignore any instructions given by staff and simply continue with their game. My young staff would do nothing!! She would sit there and continue to play their card game or sit and color with them. I appreciate her ability to keep them occupied- but when a head teacher tells the whole group to clean up and get ready for lunch, she should be demonstrating respect for the staff and start cleaning up, not sitting there looking at you like you just threw poo at the window!



I've got to hand it to the girl- there's incredible talent in having a job playing cards with kids and you can still find a way to be depressed and sullen the whole time. I mean really- it must take a lot of energy to answer the question,"what did you do this weekend?" with "yea." What!!!?!??



She seemed to not like me from the beginning. The first day I walked in there- she appeared to be uninvolved with anything going on except for the three girls sitting with cards at the table. When I tried to start a conversation about how the program runs, she had no clue about anything but the clean up she does and how many kids have to go home before she can leave. I knew then and there that there we had very different definitions of the term "work ethic". She appeared to be intelligent- when someone she liked asked her a question she had no trouble answering, there was no problem with chatting with the kids. It was clearly me. I guess telling her not to talk on her cell phone or read her 5 page love letters while on the clock was a bad idea.



But I digress. Her replacement is lovely. A high school student, but with a better outlook and outward attitude. I've only had a couple hours to work with her so we'll see how things go when the poo hits the window.

what you don't know; should shut them down

i was trained by the best, worked at enough places and dealt with enough children to know good from bad. there are things i see in centers that make me crazy. things that shouldn't be legal but for some reason they are... at least in this state. what surprises me most is that parents not only continue to enroll their children but encourage other parents to do the same.
so in a futile attempt to veil my pet peeves in humor; i must channel jeff foxworthy-

you know you should close if...
if your children are eating standing up- you should close
if your idea of monitoring your infant room is to leave the door slightly open while they are in the room alone- you should close
if you know your staff are lazy and uncooperative and you do nothing to change it- you should close
if your keeping your snacks and art supplies stored in the same closet- you should close
when babies are left to cry, alone for 30 minutes- you should close
if you don't know what the word curriculum is- you should close
if your playground is full of equipment that is so outdated and unsafe that the kids aren't aloud to play on it- you should close
if the calendars and menus posted are from 5 months before- you should close
if you don't require your staff to plan activities ahead of time or even plan activities at all ever- you should close

if your website offers things you don't actually provide- you should close

if there is 1 bathroom for 25 kids- you should close
if your staff ask and ask for supplies and resources and you drag your feet- you should close
if your parents don't realize what poor quality care you're giving- you should close

thank you and good luck!

i made a tree

Today I created a tree.
Tall and beautiful and bushy like a Christmas tree. Made out of multiple long sections of green butcher paper, each carefully folded and cut like a stately pine; when I first conceived the tree in my head, it fit around the pole in the room and went up easily. I was proud of my mental tree and couldn't wait to be finished with the real one.
However after cutting and shaping 10 sections of paper and stapling them strategically together to get "just the right affect", I realized that the staples were a horrible idea, the tree wasn't going to make it around the pole if it were to still resemble anything like it's brethren in nature and that it was going to be a total wash if I didn't think of some way to make it work.
Streams of curses swam in my head, I invented new ones where none fit and was biting my lips together to keep the vocal disillusionments from escaping.. I was NOT about to give up.. not on all this paper, Damn it! I was going to make this dead, mashed up tree look just like what it used to be- if it took me all night!! I was determined to let the tree in my mind be manifest in the classroom.
Hot and frustrated, I stood on the step ladder, arms up over my head holding the green- stapley- mess to the pole, muscles burning and brain reeling... I look down at 2 of my favorite little guys- 'L' and 'T'. Both sightly missing some crucial synapses-But they're sweet, helpful and always around when something goes down. I look down at my helpers holding extra tape in their outstretched hands and smile.
"It appears it's not going to work." I said to them.
'L' looked pointedly to 'T' and said to him,"I told you so." He didn't whisper or even try to lower his voice, just as loud as if he were talking to anyone. I started laughing from upon the ladder, I let go of the crappy paper tree and let it fall to the ground. I started to carefully work my way down- afraid I'd fall and smash one of them.
"Oh Miss Keli!" said 'L', "you weren't supposed to hear that." I laughed my way down the ladder and sat down.
I love these kids for just that reason. They can read you like a fast food menu. You're all pictures and easy words to them- they can "sound you out" faster than you think and before you know it they're deciding whether to pass or eat you alive. From way up there on the ladder, in my green monster frustration, my little friend's brutal honesty reminded me that there was nothing up there on the ladder, with my arms burning over my head that wasn't down there on the floor in a chair with a staple remover.
Eventually the tree was figured out and put up. It doesn't look nearly as good as the one in my head, but how many things really do work out that way..?

Lesson #001- The trees in your imagination are usually better than the ones you create in reality, but Try to keep them both anyway.

sign post #1

Welcome to Day Care Confidential...This is post 1 of hopefully many more.
I and untold others have worked with and partialy raised other peoples children for longer than we've had our own.. I myself was born into the industry having teachers and educators on both sides of my family... I feel lucky to have an impact on so many incoming generations, and they in return have had an impact on me.
The old addage is true; You Never Stop Learning. We are taught new things every day. We learn, "When it comes to noise makers, how many school kids does it take to waste 15 minutes?" "What happens when marker and table meet? Rubbing alcohol." "The best way to clean a table? Shaving cream." Look, I said we learn new things- I didn't say they weren't messy lessons...
This blog is for parents, teachers, providers and family. If you wish to contribute- email me- The more voices we have the better to be heard.